So, I am not a writer, a blogger or an internet savvy person. I don't know the latest coolest app to have on my phone, heck I don't even have an iphone (GASP). I have a huge 1st world problem, and I am hopping that this blog will help me discover and find what I am looking for, or maybe even develop into it. As Cliche as it sounds I am trying to find my "passion". Trying to find my "passion" along with a man, a better job, more money, and hopefully a family which consists of 1 or more children all before the age of 35, and I am about to be 33 in two months....
I called my good friend Yari on my way home from work complaining to her how I don't have a passion. I dumped all my problems on her on my 15 minute car ride from the office to my home. I told her how my trainer at work was talking football talk to me (Texans love their football) and I stared at him blankly. He was surprised to find out that I did not watch football and asks me, "well what s your passion then?" I felt like he put me on the spot that brief second, and responded with "well I like tennis?" weakly. The truth is I am NOT passionate about tennis, I took it up as an activity to do, a hobby so to speak because I needed one and I find it fun, but I am not "passionate" about it.That comment ran thru my head the entire day, and really was making me more depressed then I had already been. I told Yari, how I am alone in this world and longed for a life partner, and since I don't have one of those I know I need to find a "passion" something to make me happy besides another person. She tells me I have my daughter. I proceed to tell her my child is NOT a passion, nor do I ever want my happiness to rest on just my child. I don't want my daughter to ever feel as if she cannot live her life because mom needs her in order to be happy. I want a real passion I tell her like camping, or stamp collecting, how all my interests are luke warm and though I like things I am not "passionate" about them, and what is wrong with me, why can't I find something to make me happy, so happy that I can stop looking for love on tinder. I ask her why is looking for happiness, or my passion, why is it seeming like work, isn't this something that should be fun? Then why am I stressing about it? At the end of my rambling to her we jokingly said to do a blog. Oh the stories we have, and the stories that are going to come, her and I both have enough content to write a book. So, Why not? Here we are, blogging and we don't know what the hell we are doing!
